Today I start my new job in Sheffield. I'm absolutely terrified to say the least.
This is going to be a very long post, you may want to grab yourself a cup of tea and a few biscuits.
I was planning to create a whole blog post dedicated to my university experience but I guess it ties in very well with this topic. You may or may not know that I attended university at the beginning of September and hated it. When I say hated, I mean loathed, despised even. The funny thing is, I never wanted to go to uni in the first place! I think it's a wonderful place to go if that's what you want to do, but I didn't - my tutors pushed me into it.
I remember near the very end of my college course when all of my friends had applied and got conditional offers, one of my tutors told me that my "talent will be wasted" and I would be "throwing my life away" if I didn't go to university. I panicked and started applying to any and every university I could find in the hope that one of them would take me on so late in the application process. Leeds got back to me pretty quick and I also had an interview in Sheffield but that one didn't impress me very much. I ended up going to Leeds College of Art and had to rush to sort out how I would go about getting there and applying for my loans.
It was very, very rushed. So much so that I think I kind of blurred out what I was actually doing. I had my mind set on the fact that this was the only option for me and I had to get it sorted otherwise I would just become nothing and nobody, a thought that my tutors had created in my head.
I had a slight breakdown the night before my first day, I remember not being able to sleep and absolutely dreading having to drag myself to the uni. As soon as I got there I wanted to leave. I remember feeling very uninspired, talked down to and I basically felt like I was trapped in this horrible, boring place with no way out for the next 3/4 years. This is when my happiness plummeted and my depression began to spiral out of control. I cried every night for two weeks, unable to shake the feeling of hopelessness and isolation. After 14 days, my mum suggested I go see somebody.
I arranged a meeting with my tutor on the Monday and I left that very day. I felt relieved to have left but then I felt scared about what I would do next. My tutor suggested having a few weeks off just to relax and work out exactly what it was I wanted to do. My college never really explained any of the alternative progression routes there are in the big wide world, but during this time off I came across apprenticeships. I'd heard of them but never really thought of them as something I would want to do.
I applied, got a few interviews and had amazing offers from everybody who I went to see. I was amazed! I accepted one in Sheffield for a company that I believed would offer me the most in terms of experience and knowledge in the industry.
And that brings me to today! Day number 1! Scary stuff, but I feel so much better that I did on my first day of uni. I can't wait to see what lies ahead and if you're ever unsure about your future, just pick something you enjoy and see where it takes you. Don't ever go to uni because people are telling you that's what is right for you, I've wasted so much time on it when I could've been doing something I love. I might go back next year, the year after or never. But I'm sure in myself now that if I ever decide to take my education further, it'll be on my terms. Nobody else's!
*Designing icons for work in my new job!*
